Street Smarts in Mexico: The Ancient Art of Not Being an Idiot

I’ve lived and traveled all over the world. South America. Europe. I even spent a few months in Ukraine with an old friend I served with in the NIS, under Reagan. Which means two things.

1.        I’ve lived in places US cable news use as highlight reels for “See! Every Other Country Sucks!”

2.       I’ve learned that most danger is not mysterious, cinematic or because of an encounter with organized crime. It’s behavioral. People do stupid shit.

Here’s the truth that people who get themselves in trouble just don’t think about: If you don’t have basic street smarts in the United States, it is NOT safer any other modern country – including Mexico. Conversely, if you exercise street smarts, most modern countries are safe to live in.

Street Smarts 101: Don’t Be Where You Shouldn’t Be

I have 32 life rules. Rule #1 is: Don’t be an idiot. Sounds easy, right? Watch men when they try to show off in front of their wives (like I do!) at the risk of life and limb, and you’ll realize this rule is not as easy as it sounds. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been injured immediately after saying something like “Hey baby! Watch this!”Same with Street Smarts. Ninety percent of street smarts boils down to this simple principle: don’t go to stupid places, at stupid times, doing stupid things.

That’s it! Class over!  Okay so maybe we’ll cover a few details.

Danger in Mexico is Usually More Predictable

Unlike the USA, where mass murders happen every week in malls, churches and schools, Mexico has danger that’s usually (Not Always, Whiners!) more predictable. There are neighborhoods, cities and even entire states that everyone who actually lives here knows should labeled “Exercise Extreme Caution”. And when you know that, you act accordingly.

It’s like if you know you’re going into Compton, you dress, walk and behave differently.

Most of the really bad violence is predictable. Cartels vs. Cartels. Cartels vs. National Guard. Stuff like that. Of course there is random danger in every country but in Mexico it’s much more predictable than in the Public Mass Murder Capital of the world. However, some things are surprising for outsiders. For example, poor does not automatically mean dangerous in Mexico, and Middle Class does not automatically mean safe. Some poor neighborhoods are quiet, community based, and safer than wealthy American suburbs. Some Middle-Class neighborhoods have a dangerous undercurrent that isn’t obvious to the unfamiliar eye.

Whereas in the United States, ninety percent of the danger is easily identified as “stay out of any poor neighborhood in a major city.”  

When I owned a condo in Tijuana, there were areas I went often and areas I never visited once. During the day, I’d be surfing (back when the water was safe to do so) and at night, you’d find me on Revolución Boulevard - that carefully engineered playground for eighteen-year-old Americans who discovered Mexico offered them legal consumption of tequila and the bad decisions that went with it. Great times!

Even then, I stayed far away from Zona Norte and the outskirts of Tourist Central. At six foot two with light hair, I practically screamed “HELLO I AM A WALKING OPPORTUNITY!” to the wrong people.

Once I bought my condo and made friends with local surfers whose families were usually upper middle class or wealthier, I started going to clubs in the hills near Hipódromo. And suddenly, I was as safe as I ever was in the United States. Actually safer than my condo in San Diego.

So when it comes to personal safety, my mom the realtor had the right slogan for the first rule: Location, Location, Location.

You Know How in Movies, Monsters Come Out at Night? Yeah That.

I used to live in Marina del Rey, CA (suburb of LA) which was very safe - but one city block away from a very different part of town: Venice Beach. Venice is delightful during the day! Walking the boardwalk, watching people skate, dance and juggle live chainsaws (I'm not kidding!) was AWESOME! At night, it was a different story. It became a social experiment filled with substances, Crips, the V13 and the occasional idiot who looked like his nickname was "Chip". Chips did not fare well in Venice at night.

I would compare Venice in the 80’s to Cuidad Juarez when it comes to day vs night safety. You can walk through central Ciudad Juárez during the day and be completely fine if you stick to normal routes used by tourists and border traffic. But at night? That same walk becomes a different adventure altogether. And by “adventure”, I mean like the movie “From Dusk til Dawn” except without Selma Hayak and her phallic symbol python.

So location is important but so is timing. Scary things tend to come out at night.

Situational Awareness: For Some It’s Instinctual, for Others, It’s Non-Existent

In the military, we were trained in what was called situational awareness. I still practice it on sort of a subconscious level. I notice where the exits are. I “hear” the room. Old habits die hard.

If you walk into a bar looking like an ad from Expedia and everyone else looks like they have a parole officer, congratulations! You have just received valuable data. Don't continue walking inward, don't stop and think. Turn around and walk out without saying a word.

If a few guys are playing pool and look like they’re D&D (Drunk & Dangerous), exit stage left. Life is not a Netflix series. You are not the main character. Really large drunk people rarely produce wonderful memories.

Newsflash: The best deals are not found in alleys. Beautiful women don’t find you more attractive when you’re drunk. Men don’t follow beautiful women by accident. Be aware of your surroundings and exits. If the vibe of a room grows dark, execute a surreptitious departure. Know where safe places and police are. If someone is so much as looking at you the wrong way, know how to get to a safe haven without leaving the light.

Street Smarts Work Everywhere

This is all basic stuff but you’d be surprised how often I’ve seen it completely ignored, all over the world.

Know your location. If you live in the Beverly Hills of your city, you’re about as safe as humans get. If you don’t, know where not to wander and when.

Night is more dangerous everywhere. Tijuana is great during the day. At night, stick to areas swarming with police and private security.

Don’t get into parked, barely marked taxis - that might not be a taxi at all. Call an Uber. Don’t follow the guy with “the best deal” into an alley.

And for God’s sake, if you look more like Peter Dinklage than Henry Cavill, those two stunning women offering you a “good time back at their place” are not flirting. They are about to offer a product (you) to their clients or coworkers (the guys waiting outside. Seriously, this rule applies as much in New York as it does in CD MX: Don’t be an idiot.

I love living in Mexico. It’s fun. The people are warmer and friendlier than anywhere I’ve lived. And it really is safe, provided you use the same street smarts you should already be using in the United States or any other country.