Things I Don’t Do Anymore, Now That I Live in Mexico

A Real Live Gas Station Attendant!!!

Hurry

This is the biggest difference. Back in the USA I lived my life like Tony Robbins was following me around chanting "THAT is all you got done today?!?!?". I was always in a hurry. Always hustling. Always proving I was a “High Achiever” which in American culture is code for “Congratulations, here is your high blood pressure medication!” Sure, I got the nice houses and the shiny cars but I also collected stress levels that could power a small city and blood pressure readings that made my doctor whistle like a tea kettle.

America worships hustle the way ancient civilizations worshiped volcano gods. If you are not sacrificing your sanity at the altar of productivity are you even American?

Then I moved to Mexico where no one is in a hurry. Not even the clocks. Mexico is Cultural Valium. I slowly stopped rushing. Then I stopped stressing. Then one day I realized I had stopped taking my blood pressure medication entirely and my numbers were a beautiful 125 over 79. If Big Pharma hears about this they will personally deport me back to Texas.

The funniest part? I am achieving more at work than ever. Turns out the secret to peak performance was not grinding myself into an early grave. It was Mellowing in Mexico with less stress and more focus. Who knew?

Check The Weather

When I was a kid I had a fish tank and needed to keep the water within five degrees of seventy five or my prized pescaditos would perish. Now I live in God’s fishtank. The temperature ranges from pleasant to perfect and my only meteorological concern is whether the sun is bright or muy bright.

Pay Attention To Stop Signs Or Speed Limits

Or lanes. Or well most of the things that suggest “order” in the USA. People here treat traffic laws like expired coupons. They acknowledge them politely and then proceed as their ancestors intended – with a sort of controlled chaos. But there are WAY less accidents and FAR fewer angry drivers. Everything “just works”. The REAL police? The topes. You must respect the topes.

React To Cop Cars With Flashing Lights

Speaking of cops, in the USA a police cruiser behind me with disco mode activated meant raised blood pressure and a recap of every minor sin since Clinton’s second term. In the USA, the cops are not there to protect anyone – they went to court to prove that. They’re a business and my infractions are their profit center. Here in Mexico, flashing lights mean the car is on.

Schedule Doctor Appointments Weeks In Advance

In the United States you practically needed a congressional hearing for a checkup. Here you stroll to the local Farmacia Ahorro, wait outside the consultorio and receive a full half hour evaluation by someone who smiles, listens and charges the equivalent of a fancy Starbucks drink. Even prescriptions become gentle suggestions. If it is not powerful enough to tranquilize a rhino you can buy it freely.

Consumerism

Once we bought the furniture, the car and the pots and pans, we full stopped. I did not even notice the shift at first. In the USA we bought new things like it was a national obligation. Call it habit or escapism or capitalistic autopilot. Whatever. We just kept buying stuff. In Mexico we simply replace. Shoes get worn out, batteries die and so on.

Watch Televised News

Back home I endured the ritual of panels of experts, repeating curated outrage with the rhythm of Gregorian chant. Teams of four different people, hour after hour, repeating the same propaganda. CNN and MSNBC sought influence. FOX peddled complete bullshit. I’ve relied on reading more then tv but now I ONLY read. My mood improved so dramatically I should submit it to a medical journal!

Ask People What They Do For A Living

In the USA that was practically the handshake soundtrack. “Jonhn, nice to meet you. So what do you do for a living?” Here you get to know people as humans first and professionals later. You learn their stories before their job titles. What a concept!

Check My Credit Score

Mexico treats credit as a simple math equation instead of a moral judgment. If you have a down payment you are approved. Congratulations on your new vehicle or home. In the USA it’s skewed unfairly for the rich. Mortgage payments increase scores, rent payments do not. Our US credit is frozen and our balances rapidly shrinking, so our score continues to rise. And no one here cares. Including us.

Deal With HOA Karens

In the United States daring to leave a towel on your balcony was treated like an affront to civilization. Putting your trash out early legal representation. Here your neighbors walk over with tamales and genuine warmth. It feels like humanity rebooted.

Leave Anywhere Quickly

In the USA you finished the activity and fled. Especially in MAGA Texas where lingering meant hearing about Obama’s imaginary Kenyan passport or Biden’s alleged lizard clone. In Mexico every outing becomes a social event. A chat at the park evolves into a philosophical debate. A tennis match becomes a symposium. Time expands like a warm tortilla.Pump Gas

In the movie "Back to the Future" Marty McFly is transported back in time. His first clue? Gas station attendants who pumped gas, cleaned the windshield etc. ! The first time I went to a gas station here, I was mesmerized by the McFly Dynamic! Attendants do all these things and a tip of around 50 cents is met with a smile bigger than the Cheshire Cat's.  

Go To Car Washes

In America you had two joyful options. Pay ten bucks for the foam tunnel or fifty bucks for a guy who whistled while wiping your rims. In Mexico there is a magician in every Soriana (grocery store) or Walmart parking lot who hand washes your car for the cost of a bottled water. They do a better job than detailers back home.

Walk Past People Without Greeting Them

In the USA acknowledging strangers was optional. In some cities eye contact bordered on taboo. Here every walk is a miniature town hall meeting. Warm smiles. Quick chats. Natural friendliness that still surprises me. (This is a great group! If you want one where politics are also allowed, try Expats, Executives, Immigrants & Escapees in Mexico!)