Where Should I Live in Mexico? (Hint: Nowhere if You’re Wearing a MAGA Hat)

Living in the mountains of San Luis Potosi is idyllic!

San Luis Potosi – The Escape from Climate Change

I live in San Luis Potosí. If you’re looking for tropical beaches, this ain’t it. There’s no gentle ocean breeze, no palm trees swaying seductively, and no margarita-slinging beach bars serving “two-for-one Tuesday” deals. What we do have is altitude - six thousand feet of it, and weather so perfect it feels like God’s thermostat got stuck at 75. Ninety percent of the year it’s sunshine and serenity. No hurricanes. No forest fires. No rising sea levels licking at your ankles. In short, it’s like living inside a permanent spring day that never got the memo about Climate Change. Also, I feel safer in the poorest part of this city at night, than I do almost anywhere in Texas at any time of day.

Negatives: The biggest is that this is NOT the ocean scenes and surfing in the movies (I was a surfer 100 years ago).

Tijuana aka “Mexico Light”

Before that, I lived in Tijuana. Yes, that Tijuana. Where tacos, tequila, and tattoos meet at the corner of “Oh crap, that’s the border!” It’s the most visited town by US tourists in the world – which is a positive or negative, depending on your view. It’s chaotic, gritty, and far more interesting than most American suburbs. Beaches? Check. Proximity to San Diego? Double check. English speakers? Everywhere. It’s what I would call “Mexico Lite”. You can dip your toes into the culture without fully jumping into the linguistic deep end. Also, you can still get a pretty good deal on real estate e.g. the 3 BR 3 BA condo we looked at for $350K USD.

Los Malos? It’s still a border town. There’s traffic, transience, and enough cartel gossip to make Dateline NBC look like a Disney special. Baja is listed as one of the most dangerous states in Mexico. That being said, after over 10 years traveling as a surf bum there, I heard of only one incident that affected Gringos. A shooting a night club called “Baby Rock” back in the day, hit some tourists. I’m sure there were more but my friends who live in the hills overlooking the city have been fine. Also, while I commuted back and forth from San Diego almost weekly, my understanding is that ever since the Orange AntiChrist took office, crossing the border is just not as fun as it used to be. So there's that.

All the beach cities have one thing in common: Beaches! Like stick your toes in the soft sand and feel the stress melt away quicker than ice cubes in Champurrado.

Puerto Vallarta

I’ve been here many times and have ALWAYS had a great time! It’s a beach paradise with an LGBTQ-friendly vibe, endless seafood, and sunsets that make poets weep. This is where I learned they have MONKEYS IN MEXICO!!! Who knew? Well, everyone who lives here knew, I guess. PV is stunning, and from what I saw on social media, the community is tight-knit. You can go take classes led by Beachtown Yoga Barbie, to happy hour on a rooftop faster than you can say “pina colada.” The Cons? It’s humid, touristy, and the gentrification is a problem. The cost of living is creeping up thanks to all the Gringos wanting Guess Jeans and influencers “finding themselves” there. Cultural tip: Locals here are used to tourists, but respect goes a long way. Learn the basics of tipping in pesos, not dollars, and don’t be that guy loudly asking if the shrimp are “safe.”

Now, since not everyone wants to live where I do and have (and since not everyone has my impeccable taste), let’s review a few other Mexican hot spots that expats can’t stop yapping about.

Yucatan (Merida and Friends)

This place is the Florida of Mexico, minus the meth and alligators. Merida is known as the safest city in the country, with a rich colonial history and food that could make a grown man cry (especially if they don’t know what “esta un poco picosa” means).

The Yucatán Peninsula has cenotes, beaches, and ancient ruins that will make your Instagram followers question their life choices.

Cons: The heat & humidity, however, is biblical. Like why even bother with antiperspirant, weather. If you’re a snowbird or a lizard, you’ll thrive. If you’re pale, prone to sweating, or allergic to humidity, invest in a dehumidifier and multiple showers per day. This place is a dry cleaner’s dream come true – except no one wears suits.

Cultural tip: Yucatecans are proud of their Mayan heritage. Don’t confuse their cuisine with generic “Mexican food.” And please, for the love of queso, stop calling every tortilla “a taco.”

Mexico City (CDMX)

Imagine if Paris and New York had a Latin baby raised on street tacos and salsa dancing. CDMX is massive, cosmopolitan, and surprisingly green. You’ll find rooftop bars, world-class museums, and enough culinary brilliance to make Gordon Ramsey dizzy. It’s also one of the few cities where a doctor will make a house call for less than the cost of an American co-pay.

Negatives? The air quality sometimes resembles the inside of a vape shop, and traffic has its own tragic sense of humor. Safety-wise, it’s better than its reputation, but like any metropolis, you need street smarts. Don’t flash your Rolex or walk around yelling “AMLO sucks!”. Yes there's crime and even cartels in Mexico and just as in New York, if you're stupid, you'll probably find one or the other.

Cultural tip: Chilangos (residents of CDMX) are sophisticated and stylish. If you go to a nice restaurant, don't dress like you're in Cabo. Leave the flip-flops for the beach.

San Miguel de Allende

Ah, San Miguel, the Beverly Hills of expats. It’s gorgeous, safe, and charming. Cobblestone streets, colonial architecture, and more retired art teachers than you can shake a paintbrush at. You can live your best Instagram life sipping espresso in the plaza while discussing “energy frequencies” with other retirees named Nancy.

The Downside? It’s expensive. Like, “We might as well have stayed in Chicago” expensive. And it’s so full of Americans that sometimes you’ll forget you’re in Mexico until you hear a mariachi band or a rooster. Again, the resentment toward gentrification is justified here.

Cultural tip: Don’t assume everyone speaks English just because they smile politely while you blabber. Try a little Spanish. Even “Lo siento, mi español es terrible” earns major points.

Guadalajara

The birthplace of tequila and mariachi. Guadalajara is where modernity meets tradition in a loud, colorful, tequila-fueled embrace. It’s more authentic than San Miguel and more manageable than CDMX. The weather’s mild, the people are warm, and the city has an entrepreneurial buzz that’s contagious.

The Negativos? Traffic is nearly as bad as Mexico City’s, and infrastructure can be a bit, shall we say, interpretive. Lanes are a matter of opinion and potholes are large enough to raise a family of alligators in.

Cultural tip: Tapatíos (locals) are proud and friendly but (again, from what I've seen and read on FB, YouTube, Instagram etc.) a tad more formal than in many places. A warm "Hola" and a handshake seem more common than the Never-Ending Embrace of Endearment.

Querétaro

Clean, calm, and corporate. This city seems like the quiet overachiever of Mexico. LOTS of people seem to own and run both local and international businesses here. It has modern infrastructure, tech growth, and solid middle-class stability. It’s not a party town, but it’s ideal for families or digital nomads who like order.

What I Don't Like? It can feel a bit sterile compared to the chaotic charm of other cities. It’s like dating someone “nice” after breaking up with someone passionate. On the other hand, for people who are looking for the lowest levels of culture-shock, this could be just the ticket. Cultural tip: Querétaro is conservative. While the videos and posts still seem to indicate locals share the world's universal disdain for the Orange, Classless Bafoon, this seems to be the Orange Country of CA (OC is the one Republican stronghold in CA). The PRI (Mexico's equivalent of the GOP) is strong here. While president Shienbaum enjoys the strongest approval rating of any world leader (a whopping 70%), this ain't where you'll find t-shirts with her face on them. They definitely do not like her "Socialist" policies here. So if you're a bit Left of Center like me, you'll want to keep both your beachwear and political commentary out of the restaurants.

A Message for MAGA

Now before the MAGA crowd starts packing their cargo shorts and a red hats, let me just say this in the friendliest of spirits: Stay home! You won’t like it here. There are no Cracker Barrels or HOA's, the place is positively overrun with brown people and honestly, whether the people here are brown, black or white, none of us like you. You're an embarrassment to the USA and well, humanity in general. So stay home. Now since I am NOT MAGA, I am open to science, history and "verifiable facts"! If I'm wrong about something here, please specify what it is, so I can edit this post! Oh and in the words of that great philosopher: Haters gonna hate hate hate... We get it. We're not here for you. Scroll along.