The Most Mexican Gringo in San Luis

 He drives through roads filled with potholes and misses them all like an Army Ranger going through a mine field.

Habanero salsa that would make an American’s nose bleed is what he calls “Sabroso!” (Tasty!)

When approaching the most crowded glorieta (roundabout), he rarely hits the brakes and feels it’s perfectly normal to come within three inches of at least four cars before exiting.

He is equally good at making a left turn from the left, center or right lane of a street.

He won’t eat meat or chicken products unless they have a sufficient amount of lime juice on them.

Leaving a party takes him at least an hour because he needs to say one nice thing, and then shake hands or hug and kiss every single person on the way out.

His last party started at 12… and ended at 12.

He speaks Spanish with an Italian accent and doesn’t know why.

He has a 300 pound sister-in-law who he only knows by the name of “Flaka”.

If his beef doesn't have freshly squeezed lime juice on it, he won't eat it.

He can’t remember the last time he was in a hurry.

He can walk down sidewalks that have 27 different levels, textures and heights, without breaking stride.

When eating dinner, he uses three utensils: A knife, a fork and a tortilla.

He has a dog named Don Julio.

Outside of the gym or tennis court, no one has ever seen him in shorts.

He can say both Yes and No with his index finger.

He’ll spend an hour giving a complete stranger directions - to a place he’s never been.

He can’t walk by a street food vendor without saying “Provecho!” to everyone in line.

His favorite drink is Scotch whiskey – which he now keeps in tequila bottles on his bar.

He only knows three people whose name doesn’t end with an “A” or “O”.

After lunch at a restaurant with his friends, he’ll stay and talk for a while – usually until dinner is served.

He sent back the desert in a restaurant because it didn’t have chili in it.

He now considers crème’ brulee to be just a poor imitation for flan.

He is… The Most Mexican Gringo in San Luis Potosi !!!